


ghost of you

by orphan_account



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Read at Your Own Risk, Songfic, nothing too graphic though, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:07:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23992768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Yeonjun felt like dancing with Soobin for one last time.
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Comments: 2
Kudos: 38





	ghost of you

**Author's Note:**

> please don't read this if you get triggered easily as this story contains mentions of suicide and death. There ain't details or anything too graphic but read at your own risk. And if you feel suicidal feel free to always message me or involve loved ones. You don't have to go through this alone, it might seem unbearable right now but keep going you're so strong for waking up every day and trying, better times will come just keep trying. Feel free to call any of these numbers http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html , try to distract yourself, and surround yourself with people you love if you feel suicidal even in times like this. You should be your first priority, I love you and take care.

„I never learned how to dance“ Soobin giggled, red dusting the apples of his cheeks as he felt Yeonjun pulling him closer.  
„Just follow my lead“, he whispered as he gently pushed Soobin away and motioned for him to do a little twirl. It was quite hard considering Soobin being slightly taller than Yeonjun but they still managed. „Whenever we have moments like these I think about marrying you.“, Soobin said, gasping as Yeonjun pulled him closer again. They swayed side to side to an old Taylor Swift song, the singer's voice echoing through the whole kitchen. The table and chairs were pushed aside, a laptop with a streaming side open was placed on one of the chairs. 

Yeonjun grinned at that, his heart doing a flip at the thought of marrying Soobin. To be honest he thought about it all the time but South Korea wasn't one of the most accepting countries but maybe if Yeonjun saved up enough money and Soobin finished his studies they could fly to America and marry in a pretty city like San Francisco. „I hope we will one day.“ Yeonjun answered honestly, his promise ring digging into Soobin’s back as he pulled him even closer, now they were chest to chest, warm breaths fanning over each other's faces and Soobin couldn’t help but resting his head on Yeonjun‘s shoulder. His arms removed themselves from the older man's neck, promise ring cold as it graced the skin around Yeonjun‘s shoulder. The long arms wrapped themselves around Yeonjun‘s torso as they kept swaying to another soft tune. 

„Yeonjun, it’s getting late you should go to bed.“, Soobin whispered, his body felt warm yet his breath seemed cold and like his body was freezing because of it Yeonjun squished the boy in front of him, muttering a don't wanna. He felt Soobin smile, hands coming up to rest on the top of his head, long fingers carding gently through Yeonjun‘s dark hair. He felt a gentle kiss getting pressed to his temple and now Soobin was the one swaying them side to side as his sweater-clad shoulder gets soaked with tears. Yeonjun tasted the salt from Soobins as the little droplets that rolled down Soobin‘s chubby cheeks reached his lips. „Let‘s take you to bed, Hyung“ Soobin repeated himself, the music came to a halt, probably because the battery of the laptop was empty. He felt his boyfriend gently nudging him towards their bedroom, helping him change out of his clothes into a pair of pajama pants and a shirt, Soobin didn’t change. He still wore the same hoodie that Yeonjun gave him to his birthday, the hoodie that was too big on him and had a little bunny cartoon on the back. „You won’t leave, won‘t you?“ Yeonjun asked, his eyelids growing heavier it started to hurt to fight against it. There was a pause, and Soobin shot him a sad smile. Fingers reaching out to rest against Yeonjun‘s cheek, thumb caressing it gently. „I won’t.“ Soobin reached over to peck Yeonjun‘s sweaty forehead. The air conditioner didn’t really do its job, but the sound of it (besides the crickets from outside) was the only thing that made the room feel alive, nostalgic even. „Promise?“, Yeonjun felt like a child, asking for reassurance from his parents that they will always stay by his side, always support him and be his guardian angels. „Promises are meant to be broken, you don’t deserve that, Hyung“ Soobin pulled the covers over them. It was a linen sheet from Soobin‘s grandma that was covered in pretty pink flowers. They reminded Yeonjun of Soobin’s lips but as he looked up the only thing he saw was a pale rosé, chapped and slightly tinted blue. On Soobin‘s neck was a bandage and Yeonjun didn’t remember seeing it or feeling it when they danced. The bandage stopped above his collarbones, his skin as white as the cloth wrapped around his neck. Yeonjun felt like crying again but Soobin was smiling at him like that, the way he did after he shyly confessed, after Yeonjun kissed him for the first time, after Yeonjun took him out on a date and gifted him sunflowers instead of roses. His smile used to be so comforting but now the only thing Yeonjun felt was aching pain in his heart and grief. „Please sleep“, Soobin whispered again and Yeonjun couldn’t help but close his eyes. The room used to smell of the ginger shampoo Soobin used but now it smelled like something earthy that was probably coming from the stream close to their window and how Yeonjun imagined summer evenings would smell like. It felt like the crickets were getting louder and cats were fighting and hissing the sound probably coming from their neighbor's property. „Sleep“ hands resting on his cheeks, they were colder than a few minutes ago yet Yeonjun couldn’t help it but drift into a deep slumber. He was so so tired, of everything, of life itself. He wasn’t surprised when he noticed the space next to him is empty. The mattress didn’t have any dips, the pillow looked like it wasn’t used for ages and it smelled of laundry detergent instead of ginger. There was a shrill sound coming from the door of his apartment. Yeonjun got up, stumbling to the door and opening it in a hurry as his heart started to beat in anxiety against his ribcage. It was Beomgyu, a sad smile gracing his lips, he was holding a black suit wrapped up in plastic paper and a bag that was containing an all so familiar baby blue hoodie. „I'm sorry it’s quite early but I wanted to check on you and got your suit.“ Beomgyu said as he stepped into the apartment. He hung up the suit on one of the doors, giving it a little glare in hopes that the hanger would understand to not slip off. „You wouldn‘t pick up your phone so the police called me yesterday and I went to pick up Soobin‘s hoodie. You wanna keep it?“, Beomgyu gently gave him the hoodie that was in a transparent plastic bag, usually those types where the police would put in the exhibits. Yeonjun nodded, quickly opening up the bag, trying to get rid of it because Soobin‘s hoodie didn’t deserve to be stored in something like this. Yeonjun unfolded it, his heart shattering as he noticed the bloodstains on the neck and hood of the clothing piece. The blood was already dry but soaked up at least half of the hoodie with it, it felt like getting stabbed just looking at it. „You don‘t have to keep it, Hyung“, Beomgyu lowered his voice, like he was talking to a toddler trying to explain to them what's good or bad. Yeonjun nodded, folding the hoodie again and bringing it close to his chest. „Let's burn it, Beomgyu.“ his voice was wavering but Yeonjun was sure that was the right thing to do, the first step of moving on. „Are you sure?“ he looked at Yeonjun with wide eyes, they were glassy and Yeonjun was sure that Beomgyu was about to cry. He couldn’t handle seeing his friend cry. 

He nodded, shooting him a little smile, that looked sad but was genuine, it didn’t reach his eyes like Soobin‘s smiles used to but it felt like the first genuine smile since days. „Alright, take on some clothes and we can go, I know a spot.“, and they did. It was early in the morning and when the hoodie finished burning and only ashed remained, the sun reached its peak and another day started, another life started. Yeonjun wouldn't forget but he thinks that if he has enough time, he’d be ready to move on. And just maybe he imagined the warm strings of gold that graced his cheeks felt the same way as Soobin’s fingertips when they drew patterns on his skin.


End file.
